This morning I am writing here for the first time in quite a while. We have cancelled worship today because, on April 15th - today, we have ice on the roads and are still in a winter storm warning until noon. It's the middle of April and we are still not seeing spring!
I guess if we have to stay home, this is a good time to stop procrastinating and write something. I was reading my profile that says how I love to write. I do love to write. So why do I put it off for so long?
I think it could be the same as anything that I want to do well. I want to look my best so I try on numerous things before I'm satisfied. Sort of. I put off writing my sermon, painting a picture, throwing clay on the wheel, playing the piano, etc.
Procrastination might be a symptom of perfectionism, I'm thinking. It can be hard to get started because I want to know without a doubt what I'm going to do, how it's going to look and until I have that image, I keep waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Until so much time has gone by. And if it is something with a deadline - like a weekly sermon - then I'm finally writing under pressure. I know a lot of clergy that do that. But it's not a comfortable thing. It's just a thing.
Call it an artists block, writers block, sign of perfectionism - whatever. It feels a lot like the winter in April we have today. It's difficult to vision the beauty of spring when there is ice and snow still out there. The trees are as bare as my imagination. And yet, here I am, finally writing something - because it's a winter day and we had to cancel church.
I had a professor once say about sermon writing: 'Sometimes you just have to start. Sometimes, the sermon writes you.'
So I'm going to try to commit to writing here three times a week. You may not find it interesting and it may be a lot of nothing, but write I will! Until it writes me!
So winter .... bring it on!
I am a woman with many interests, yet most of them flow into what is my source of life, my very breath, the reason I do what I do. I am Called. That means, for me, I have experienced a call on my life to serve as a pastor to God’s people. In that calling I love to write, to speak, to lead, and to teach. My deepest desire is to pass on to others what I have experienced in my own journey of grace. I am human, and in that humanity I have known passion and joy, sin and disgrace. Yet, in God’s love I have known nothing but love and redirection and total grace.