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Grief - The Result of Love


Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning. – Psalm 30


The last time I posted a blog here was just after coming home from Omaha to visit my sister who is on hospice with end-stage COPD. She had asked me to come and I found her not feeling well at all. And on top of that, my brother-in-law – her husband – had been experiencing many health issues this past year and had lost a lot of weight. But we were hoping and praying he was on the mend and would start feeling better. Sadly, just a week after I returned home, he was informed that he had cancer in his liver that had spread throughout his body. He only had a short time to live. The next week, he was unresponsive. I returned to Omaha, went into his room and sat beside him, speaking to him, rubbing his arm. I was just sure I saw a response in his face – a brief raising of his eyebrows.


Twenty minutes later, he died. My sister is certain that he was waiting for me. Our other sister was already there and she believes he wanted to be sure Jan had both of us there with her before he left. I like to believe that is true.


Denny was like a brother to me. He and my sis took me to Sanibel Island for my birthday a few years ago and it was a wonderful time together in a very beautiful place. He loved to tease me and we bantered back and forth a great deal. He often gave my sister a hard time and could get her riled up easily – just because. But then he brought her flowers quite often too. When I was there the first time, he came home with two bouquets of flowers – one for her and one for me.


I have been grieving the loss of this person in my life. I have not been motivated to write although I’ve wanted to sit down and do it. Grief is strange and it affects us all in different ways. While I did not see my brother-in-law on a regular basis, he was an important person in my life and in our family. It is an empty feeling, knowing he is not here any longer. And of course, I worry about my sister, whose health is so bad.


I know there are many people grieving in this time. Those who have lost a loved one to Covid-19 or some other disease or accident. I saw a quote recently and posted it on Facebook. It says:


“Grief never ends, but it changes.

It’s a passage, not a place to stay.

Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith.

It is the price of love.”

Isn’t that so true? If we never loved, we would not have to experience the pain of grief. Yet, we would miss out on the most beautiful experience of all – love. What would life be without love? So grief is a marker of how we have loved and been loved.

There a song, sung by Libby Roderick, titled “A Holy Thing.” The song says:

It’s a human thing, a holy thing, to love what death can take.

It’s a human thing, a holy thing, to love the thing whose loss can cause your heart to break.

I invite you to look it up on YouTube. The lyrics are not available but you can listen to the song.

Loving is a human and a very holy thing. Our hearts break when we lose someone but we never lose the love that is there.

May God bless and comfort all who are grieving in this time. May God circle his angels around us and give comfort and peace in the midst of tears and sorrow. May joy come in the morning to all who have lost one they have loved.

Amen.




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© 2020 by Dr. Sharlyn DeHaven Gates